Was that you?

My Sugar,

Today’s new normal involved getting up at 6:30 AM to get our toddler ready for a full day at daycare and me ready for my first day back to work since you died. Last night marked a full week of our daughter waking at 2 AM wanting nothing but cuddles and refusing to return to her slumber until she received 2-3 hours worth. They say this is the prime age for separation anxiety, but losing you and having everyone stop visiting must have something to do with it.

Needless to say, today was a rough day. I ended it by cleaning up our daughter’s toys and settling in to fill out more paperwork related to your death. Reading the doc’s reports brought me to tears and when I walked across the room, I saw this on the floor. ..
The first letter of your name.
Was that you?
Or am I such the walking zombie that I left this out?
If it’s the former, I hope you show yourself more.
I am still in disbelief and miss you so very much.
We fought so hard, I still can’t believe you actually died..
It’s all so surreal.

With a heavy heart filled with love for you,
Your Sweetness

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